4. Impotence: nature’s way of saying, “No hard feelings...”5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - ‘don’t’ and ‘stop’, unless they are used together.6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.7. There are three stages in a man’s life: Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly and Try Weakly.8. Virginity can be cured.9. Virginity is not dignity, it’s lack of opportunity.10. Having sex is like playing bridge - if you don’t have a good partner, you better have a good hand.11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dial were too small.12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.13. Question: What’s an Australian kiss? Answer: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing.15. Question: What are the three biggest tragedies in a man’s life? Answer: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn’t.16.. “I inherited it and this ship from a man who liked to smuggle things to sell to the highest bidder. I was sent to protect someone who was to verify the authenticity of an item he had for sale. The men with me and I had to protect ourselves against him in international waters. He went overboard and we couldn’t get to him before he died,” I used an almost truthful explanation.“I know this ship, and the reputation of the man who owned it previously. I’m surprised that he has found the missing Imperial eggs, but not that he has the stolen ones, too. We won’t be party to selling the four stolen items,” he warned.“I don’t intend to sell them. I plan on returning them to the Russian government,” I replied. That reply seemed to mollify him.When the last of our helicopters returned that afternoon, the holds were empty except for the cash and we were already sailing southeast. The man from the auction house was also gone, along with the Fabergé eggs that I planned to sell.FridayThe next day was.
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