I think Cindy must have sensed what was going on. I never had a very good poker face. To her credit, she never once suggested I might be the problem. She never even suggested I get checked. Maybe she didn’t need the test to know that I was not a man. Cindy gradually stopped bringing up adoption or even wanting to have kids. She seemed to be resigned to staying with me and living a childless marriage. I loved her beyond imagining, but harbored a deep and lingering feeling that I was no longer good enough for her.My feelings caused me to pull back from her. I became distant and less affectionate. When we tried to have sex, all I could think about was my lack of sperm and my inferiority as a man. I started having performance issues and struggled to get hard. When I could get hard, I often would lose my erection in the middle of sex. Cindy never complained. She would slide off, tell me it was okay, then get herself off with one of the toys in her collection.My inability to make her cum. )Sanosuke: Surprised, huh? Try making fun of me again and I'll do the same to you.Chief: Why you--Saitou: Chief. I'll settle this myself. Wait for me upstairs.Sanosuke: I've got a lot of things I want to ask you, but first we'll settle the fight we started in Tokyo and--hey!!(Saitou, totally ignoring him, examines the broken edges of the wooden bars.)Saitou:... I see. The technique's basis is similar to the sukashi of karate, but with so much more force that they can hardly be compared... So what happened to the basics of defense I told you to learn?(Sanosuke looks blank, then shrugs. Saitou grabs the front of his shirt.)Sanosuke: Since when do I have to listen to what you say! Defense just isn't my thing! I'll fight you my way!(Saitou tosses down the piece of wood and turns away again.)Saitou: I don't have any men to spare, but even so--you're useless to me.Sanosuke: Running away again!Saitou: I'm very busy. I don't have time to play with you.Sanosuke: Well, guess it's my win by.
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